I just went back to look at the last few posts since re-activating and its way too clear I’m in a bad place right now.
Clearly time to make a list of things my curremt body is good at since all I can focus on is how much weight I’ve gained and how my old warmups are now my max.
My current body is good for:
- The Boobies
- The right dresses give me an hour glass
- It looks great when I wiggle in Zumba
- Being the heavy girl who can outpace thinner girls
- Being imposing looking (yes, I love this)
- Fabulous hugs and excellent cuddles
- The Boobies (I’m listing it twice I will miss thrse so much)
Things I will have back when I get down to my former / thinner self:
- Better runs
- A feeling of accomplishment after my workouts
- More attractive guys checking me put / random self esteme boosts
- Longer legs look better in heals
- Feeling more confident in general
I’ve clearly been a workaholic since I was like 16.
What I thought this would be like:
- "Wow I’m really important and good at things and happy."
What this is actually like:
- "I can’t handle my life can you fix my shit?"
- "No you do it like this not like that."
- "Can you just answer my cell phone so I can sleep? I haven’t done that in a while."
- "IDK here’s my email password see if anyone wants anything."
- "Can you go to the grocery store I have a conference call and I forgot to eat today."
- "Tell everyone I’m sorry for screwing it up but I can’t reschedule until next week."
- "Is there food somewhere? Still haven’t eaten."
Saw this going around Tumblr.
Even though I’m totally understaffed and don’t know how we’re going to cover that many parties since Reebok literally booked us 12hrs ago for this Sunday. And I have to get a shit ton of paperwork done today and over-nighted at the post office.
And I have to forgo my workout today to get this all done. And I have to reschedule my personal training session Sunday to drive 2hrs to the event.
SO IN SUMMARY, owning a business is:
I go in Sunday.
I’m so nervous I can’t even. I reeeeally don’t want to be let down by another one…. I’ve already met her and we had a really great vibe, so I’m hoping this works well. My old one when I met her she just seemed a little too fake-cheery and two years later it now figuratively drives me nuts.
I just want someone to help me get my shit together that’s on the same pages as me.
URGGGGGGG being out of shape is so stressful….
On top of a full-time job, owning a serious business, and getting fit, I’m also back in makeup school on Mondays. The challenge was Girl Next Door vs. Bad Girl, so we did each other. I also waxed / trimmed her brows which was fun…
Don’t know if this counts as fitspo but the fact that I stuck to my calories and still managed to work out during my 14hr work day is pretty inspiring, right?
Everyone is talking about the Boston Marathon, so here it is. Never forget the women who fought for our rights!
February 2011 - February 2013
Dallas North American Body Painting Championship - New Orleans Mardi Gras
I love my job, but it’s painful to realize that losing weight has, by itself, been even more helpful in my success than improving my skills as a body painter. How screwed up is that? Two years ago not a damn soul noticed me. Last week it was compliment after compliment after free drink. It’s hard not to feel weird about it, honestly, even if I’ve enjoyed the change.
I don’t really think I was prepared for the emotional weirdness of weight loss, but here it is. The photoset that sums up the past two years of my life more than anyone else.
Reblogging for motivation. That second picture was taken a smidge over a year ago, and since I’ve gained about 30lbs.
My life is amazing. My career is perfect. I am so happy. I’ve gained weight because I’ve been working my ass off every day without rest for the past year. I don’t regret it, but it’s hard not to beat myself up over it.
I just want to get down to that second smiling girl again…….. I will balance my career and my health. I will.
Rest of tonight:
- meal prep for tomorrow
- pick out work clothes, gym clothes, class clothes
- Drop off dog at daycare 7:30am
- Work for 8:00am
- Snack at 10:00am
- Lunch from 12-1:00pm = quick salad and run
- Work 1-4:30pm (probably another snack)
- Drive straight to class for 5:30pm, eat dinner on the way
- Class from 5:30-9:30pm
- Eat another snack on my way home to pick up Olive
- Grab the dog from my mom’s house
- Sleep for 8hrs
I feel so great about fitness right now and am so excited to make this work, but a full time job + running a business + evening classes + adult responsibilities. There isn’t much room for fuckup here….
Standing desk: tumblr fitspo while being fitspo. But maybe aggravate my already messed up back.
Bike: exercise for an hour a day on the way to work instead of the hour I would sit in the car to go to the work and gym. But maybe get hit by cars.
MORNING MOTIVATION: my friend John Reed is currently working on breaking the world record for largest balloon sculpture by a single person. Today is his last day to do it, and he’s well on his way to smash it.
I think in previous years (or months) I would get really upset like “if he’s doing this what’s wrong with me? Why am I not as good?”
But John is amazing. He works his ass off 24/7 and has been a massive inspiration since I met him. He’s going to achieve it because he plans and works.
If my friends and co-creators can be on reality tv, break world records, travel the world to make art…. I can conquer today and any goal I set. I feel this down in my bones today.
Let’s do this Friday!!!!!